“Never, never listen to anybody when they try to discourage you, because they do that, believe me.” –Mariah Carey

Adele can’t sing.

She has been diagnosed with a vocal cord hemorrhage.

What in the world???

I love me some Adele!

Loved that young woman from the start. She had me at Chasing Pavements.

Her soul, her writing, her seemingly effortless talent.

Now this Grammy-winning singer is sidelined with vocal issues.

They have forced her to cancel all of her 2011 performances!

A statement on Adele’s website says she’s going to have to have surgery and that a full recovery is expected.

Other famous singers have had trouble keeping their voices strong and healthy:

Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, and Justin Timberlake.

Adele’s situation is serious. It is more than simple laryngitis. Bleeding is involved here.

According to a fact sheet from the American Academy of Otolaryngology, “vocal hemorrhage results when one of the blood vessels on the surface of the vocal cord ruptures and the soft tissues of the vocal cord fill with blood.”

This is sick.  As singers, we can damage our voices forever if we don’t allow our vocal cords to heal completely when there is trouble. Absolute voice rest means absolute voice rest.

I am saddened by what has had to Adele.  I like the rest of her fans want her back on stage when she is fully over this episode.

Moving forward, I will be thinking about Adele.  She had made me recommit to my daily vocal exercises, warm-ups, and practice.

I fully recognize that in order to build a strong and healthy voice… to maintain it.. we have to go back to the basics.

It’s the simplest most important thing I can do to make my singing the joyful process it was meant to be.

Onward  + Upward!

I learned recently that every musician should have an answer to that question when he or she is invited to play a solo part, or just to improvise during a performance.

The question came up when violinist Dave Binanay joined me at Chip Shearin’s recording studio to play a solo part to a song that I’m including in the album.

Well, here is how webster’s describes the word:

mo·tif

/moʊˈtif/ Show Spelled[moh-teef]

noun

a recurring subject, theme, idea, etc., especially in a literary, artistic, or musical work.

I learrned that every musician should have a “motif” around every song.. that he or she should always know the melody.. and that when called on to perform a solo or improvise… that motif should be easily within mental reach.

It was explained that the Motif serves as a starting point for a musician… a point from which.. he or she can then go anywhere interpreting a musical piece.

Get this:  Chip said it could be part of a nursery rhyme… the first few notes of … saying.. Mary had a little lamb or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Ain’t that a hoot?

Well given those instructions.. my man Dave went to work!  He put his motif to work at the beginning part of his solo in “Get Here”.  After that, the rest just seemed to flow so much easier for him.

Dave would later tell me he learned so much from Chip Shearin that day… even though he was only in the studio for a couple of hours.

That got me thinking.. wondering if a vocalist should have some kind of motif when beginning a song.. or taking on the “bridge” of a song.

I am not so sure.  I do know that I sing better when I can “feel” the intention of the songwriter.  Sometimes, rather than sing a song, I will just voice the words, and wrap my head around the story of the song.  That makes sense to me.  I believe it helps.

Moreover, I have gone into each of the songs I have written, motivated and inspired by the mission behind the music project.  That is, as I’ve mentioned before… to honor the military.

Over the weekend,  — About 200 soldiers with the 82nd Combat Aviation Brigade stationed at Fort Bragg deployed to Afghanistan.   Many of them were so young. I saw one young man with his father.  The solider was just 21 and on his first deployment to a region where there has been heavy fighting.

My hope is always that they come home safe and whole.

I am not sure if I have my motif, but I have my motive 100 percent!

Onward + Upward!!!

 It was not long after my very first music project took flight that I was hit with thoughts for the next one. 

I wanted to record an album to salute the military.

I have expressed it many times in previous blogs how much the military means to me… How grateful I am to the

men and women who have volunteered to wear a uniform to serve and protect our great country.

Singing a New Song!

After skirting around the edges of this dream for months, the real work began this week. Sunday afternoon.

Chip Shearin working his magic in the music lab

I was standing in front of a microphone inside record producer Chip Shearin’s studio in Raleigh. Fully relaxed. Singing my heart out. We were making music in a way I’ve never made music before.

singing!!!

The two songs we worked on are songs you’ve never heard before.

I am not singing other people’s songs… In their keys.. To the rhythm of their musicians. That’s how I did it last year when I released my CD: The Full Measure of a Woman.

Not this time.

Chip, who is by the way an amazing bass player..  wrote one of the songs, and he had a hand in crafting the other one . I love them both so much.

Chip in all his glory

The song titles are: “That’s Home” and “Yesterday”. Gems.

I recorded the lead vocals behind the music Chip and his magically talented partners created. What’s more, I recorded the background vocals.

What I like about “That’s Home” is that it has turned into a kind of anthem of thanks to the military. The song recalls some of the small, ordinary things that turn out to matter a whole lot when you are on foreign soil.. Millions of miles from the familiar: kids riding bikes, home cooking, a girlfriend’s beauty when you’re going out on a date.

“Yesterday” is a beautiful love song. It speaks of a strong yearning to hold on to feelings that have died.

It was harder work in the studio than I expected really. Do -overs.. And more do-overs!! I’ve never had to that level of harmonizing on songs in the past. To get it done, I sang each song three times, and Chip will ultimately choose the best of what he’s hearing.  What I really like is that he’s allowing me to connect with my inner self in a powerful way.

Chip is demanding, but he brings out the best!

The bar for excellence was set extremely high that day. It took hours just to get the basics done for those two songs. There is quite a bit of work ahead cleaning and mixing/mastering and touching up.

The happy part for me is that I’m fully on my way. 100 percent!

Onward + Upward!



~ I don’t sing because I’m happy; I’m happy because I sing. ~ William James



The nightlife in Raleigh is growing and improving year by year. 

I have enjoyed every single venue where I’ve been invited to perform.. from The Mint.. to Yancey’s.. to Prime Only Steak House..  to Zydeco… to  Mirage… and now Club 313.

I have been piquing the curiosity of the mostly gay patrons of this gorgeously laid out establishment since I started performing there in April.  Lately I’ve been entertaining a sparse group of bargoers.

They listen intently as I go through my sets.  My songs include Nora Jones’ Don’t Know Why, Nina Simone’s My Baby Just Cares for Me,  As Time Goes By, Black Coffee, and Cry Me a River.

Later my performance turns ironic during Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” which I give a mid-century torch-ballad treatment.

Really, I’m not doing a self review, I am just leading up to my query:  Whether a straight Jazz Singer can make it in a club where most of the patrons appear  ambivalent about her presence.

I can count on the staff to support me.  They are in a word Ah-mazing!

A few years back a writer for Jazz Times (who reportedly  patronized gay bars with almost the same regularity as jazz clubs) wrote that gay culture feels more allegiance toward Lady Gaga than Lady Day.  He sensed a great divide between the two worlds.  He went on to say that at the risk of stereotyping,  the musical landscape to mainstream gay life was more devoted to vocal pop, club hits and electronica.

If there is then a divide of disinterest, I want to be a bridge if I can.

We’re going to keep the music playing at Club 313, but I’ve decided to do a bit of tweaking to my song list.

I am planning to build up a repetoire of songs that are commonly heard in cabarets or at most any piano bar.

I will not look for any off- the- beaten- track numbers. No No No!

I expect the “crowd” will be far more appreciative of the tried and true, the familiar… they want to hear the songs they know and love.

 I’ve already downloaded the musical backing tracks to “And All that Jazz”  (from Chicago) and “Cabaret”;

Also I’ve included some of the top songs ever written from the The Giants: Cole Porter, The Gershwins and Irving Berlin.  You know them:  “Night and Day”, “Miss Otis Regrets”,  “Blue Skies” and “They Can’t Take That Away From Me”.

So there you have it.

Nothing big is changing with me.  These are all songs that I love.  I will still be who I am when I take the stage.  It says a lot when you show up in your life as who you are and being happy.  That’s my intention. Always.

Onward + Upward!

I’m just looking for a bit more stage presence.  Dynamic + Daring.  That is the combination I’m seeking.

Really.  For me, it will be a matter of  turning up the heat some when I touch the stage.

To that end, I’ve enlisted the help of an old friend: Fique.  She’s the owner of Luxe Apothecary in North Hills.

   We’re going to make the magic happen with an airbrush makeup gun.   It’s not exactly a new thing on the market,  but it’s new to me! 

   I have an appointment at the Luxe Salon next month to have my face professionally done before my show at Club 313.  If you know anything about this exciting venue, then you know that you have to “bring it” and “work it” every time.

   So that’s the plan.  I’m beyond ready.  I’m told airbrush foundation photographs very well, and provides full-on, long lasting color that is très magnifique!

    I want you to be the judge.  I’ll be posting pictures.

Onward  + Upward!!





I’m in an Italian state of mind.

I spent a lazy Sunday evening with a dear friend (I call her mi socia) at a zazzy + delicious restaurant in Apex called Mambo Italiano.

 In the midst of catching up on all sorts of family matters and girl talk,  the manager Ron approached us in the patio and welcomed us to his restaurant.  Then, to my great + pleasant surprise Ron invited me to sing one Saturday night soon.

Mambo Italiano is about to celebrate its 2 year anniversary at the end of the month.  If all the details can be worked out, I’m doing it!

I am uber curious about how the restaurant/bar got was named… and intend to find out.

From what I know mambo has nothing to do with cooking,  it is a dance like the salsa and the Rumba, that has a very up-beat rhythm.

Rob will tell me.  I mean sometimes words are chosen and blended for the sound that they make or the feelings they evoke.

I may be fuzzy on that score, but I’m 100 percent clear on this:  I am beyond excited about the possibility of performing at Mambo Italiano.

From Ella, to Billie, to Nina and even Etta, I am going to sing my heart out!

“This above all: to thine own self be true.”    — Shakespeare

   Who am I?  That is a question I am pondering this week.

I thought I knew, but presently I am not so sure.

  I am in a quandry about just who I am as a singer.

  Up to this point, I’ve been a kind of torch singer.  I love those songs from the Great American Song book, too. And Jazz.

    I “feel” the words to these genres.  I mean, I don’t just sing the words, I “feel” the words.  I like the stories behind the songs.  This is where I am comfortable.  It’s my lane, I like to say.

    That said,  who wants to be put in a box?  I sure don’t! 

   Throw in some Motown, some Jill Scott, Phyllis Hyman, and Adele and I’m happy there, too.

     So, that’s Pam.. that’s me.  

    The doubt is creeping in  as my producer and I make song selections for my new CD saluting the military.

    There’s a song called Home in the mix… there’s one called Yesterday. ..  Healed by the Wound in his Side is the title of another one.. and then there’s a song about being on the west coast while loving someone on the east coast.

    Where is God Bless the USA, He ain’t Heavy, and I’ll Be Seeing You???  I sure asked THAT question!

    I am being told these songs might be too cliche.. and that too many covers will sound like my first CD.

   I am being told listeners are ready to hear the original and new from me.

    Okay.  I can believe that to a point.  Here’s the thing though:  I buy lots of music and I do like to hear artists include songs that I know.    He or She may put their own flavor around some of the words and chords, but I like the familiar.

   I am going to have to do some real soul searching as we get deeper into recording.

   I am going to give great credence to listening to my heart and going with my gut.

   There is a power there, don’t you agree?

   I don’t want to mess this up.  The first CD I recorded was just plain fun.  I picked a bunch of songs that I love and got ‘em produced.

   This project right now is so much bigger than the first.

   To put it simply:  I have been blessed.  I know where freedom comes from.  I know that a lot of women and men are sacrificing for it.

   My intention is to use my face, my voice, and my identity to salute them.  This my friends has to be at the core of what I’m creating for this new CD.

   Yes, there are men and women in the recording business who know so much more than I know about producing a CD that sells. 

   I am not rich, but that is not the bottom line for me.    I know me.  I need to “Do Pam”.  If it is not well in my soul, I’m not going to sing and record the songs that are before me.

  Moving forward, I am not sure I want to put a gospel song on this CD.  What’s more if it is heavy with an R + B feel,  I’m whittling it down.   I am not that funky and I’m not that spiritual to  be honest.

     What’s more:  If this CD is not ready to drop by 11.11.11, that’s okay too.

    This is one of the most important things I’ve done in a long time.  I’m not screwing it up.

Onward + Upward!!!

   Hey, this post has really helped me.  In the words of Hillary Clinton:  “I found my voice”.

I have one, and I know I am blessed:  A strong black father.

My dad, Frank Vernon Saulsby  is one of my biggest mentors and role models.  He’s been a solid rock in  my life– from those turbulent teenage years (when I know I almost drove him and my mom mad).. to my adult years when his wisdom and life lessons to me paid off the most!

When I was a little girl, he seemed always strong and confident, rarely showing outward signs of affection.  He was in command and control over all of the trials and triumphs in our home.

He was the ultimate decider.  He was also old school. Military. Hyper masculine.

There was not a lot  of softness behind all of that strength.  At least, coming up, I rarely saw it.

Those times he did show a bit of physical affection:  a touch, a kiss, a wink.. a hug–  I loved it!

It would be years and years later.. as an adult that I would hear those 3 words, I love you from him.  To this day, he doesn’t say it much. He likes to say, “back at you, girl.” when I tell him that I love him.

 Boy, when he does allow his deep feelings to show and he says he loves me.. my heart melts.

I came of age during the 60′s and 70′s.

As a businessman back then, it could not have been easy for him.

I am sure that he struggled for acceptance, and got mad at the racism and discrimination that had to have confronted him.

These were likely tests that made him stronger.

Tough and smart, that’s how I saw my dad.

No on could ever snatch his man card!

Of the many things I’ve learned from my dad that I model today… 2 are especially powerful:  Keep your head up + be self-sufficient. 

These things have honestly helped me be a better woman, a better parent, a bigger dreamer.

Being a father is work, being a black father is damn hard work, but I’m glad my dad has shown me it can be done with honesty, integrity, and  sacrifice.

Kudos to you dad!  Thank you!

I am proud to be your daugher.

Happy Father’s Day!

I took a big step today as I move closer to making another dream come true.  Raleigh musician, Web designer, and Marine:  Jonathan Carroll has agreed to help me produce a song for my album saluting the military.

I’ve commissioned him to compose a song and arrange the music.

He and I met today so that I could have the chance to fully express what I am feeling about this song.  It is going to be a big heart-felt thank you to our military.  I want it to be a song of admiration and gratitude to those who  wear or have worn the uniform..  a song of thanks to them  for being a part of the finest fighting forces the world has ever known.

As I have stated, I feel so frustrated that the wars are no longer on so many people’s radar.

Brave men and women are fighting and dying for our freedom and they deserve more of our attention.

This album is my way of redirecting focus.

We’ve been talking about this project for a few days now, and today Jonathan sang what he called the hook of the song he’s been turning over in his head.

It has the feel of a ballad.

When I heard the first few words out of his mouth:  I put my hand over my heart, I was gone. Moved.

I felt my eyes tearing up. 

Jonathan is a gifted young man.. blessed with  a beautiful voice. 

He’s come back from war and can totally feel what I want to communicate.  He’s the perfect man for this job!

So here we go!

This young man has a lot on his plate.. supporting his beautiful wife Jill and his two children.  He’s made a place for me on that very full plate of his.  I could not be more appreciative.

Want to know more about what kind of man he is?  Just read one of the quotes by which he lives his life: 

I am confident the best is yet to come for both of us!

Onward + Upward

I love me some him! 

Actor Gary Sinise. 

The Emmy Award Winning Sinise, who stars in CSI: NY , has spent years supporting troops overseas and stateside through the USO program and his personal projects. 

Something you might not know is that Gary also plays bass, in the traveling “Lt. Dan Band”  as a fundraising project. 

The band is named after his character in Forrest Gump.  It’s  a cover band he says he pulled together for the enjoyment of U.S. military forces. 

My soul gets happy when I see him so actively involved in supporting the military.