I am bitter.

I hate that word, bitter — but if I am true to myself, then that is the only word that describes how I really feel about my present situation.  I feel bitter.

The dictionary describes it as:  marked by strong resentment or cynicism .  Yep, that’s pretty much me.
For weeks, I have been looking forward to performing at a benefit for a charity that works to stop domestic violence.

Well, now I can’t go.  There is a scheduling conflict at work, and so I can’t leave my station  during my usual dinner break/personal time off.  That’s just the way it is. I am trying to let go of my deep disappointment.  I need some time.

You see, I spent two Saturday afternoons in rehearsals with Bobby Moody and Moment’s Notice.  I’ve been practicing the new songs at varying times during the day for days.  I was way up there in excitement and anticipation, and now I’m pretty down.  I never got to perform with the complete band.  Only the sax player and the bass and lead guitar men.  Superb musicians.

That is part of the setback for me.  I knew taken altogether, that these guys were going to be the bomb!
This isn’t the end, however.  I have been invited to sing a set with the band during one of the  Saturday nights they’re performing at the Irregardless Cafe in Raleigh.  I will be there.. Lifted and loving every moment of the show.

Between now and then, I’ll be working on a change of attitude.

“Stretching Out”

I’ve found a silver lining in my loss of employment at the Rat Pack Lounge.

I can break out of the jazz singer box.  Presently, I am having some fun downloading some of the hits from different eras and genres.

Don’t get this twisted:  I am NOT trying to sing the songs of Mary J, Beyonce, Mariah, Pink, or Rihanna.  No.

I am loving the sounds from some of the mature hip chicks, such as Bette Midler, Joni Mitchell, Gladys Knight, Gloria Estefan, Roberta Flack, Annie Lennox, Melissa Manchester, and yes, even Bjork.   She sings a song called "It’s Oh So Quiet" that really moves me. ))

Presently I have more than my share of slow, smoky tunes in my song wheel.  My intention is to build up my inventory of up temp songs.  That way, I’ll be set and ready to flow, for a late night crowd that wants to shake it up on the dance floor.

Hanging with Bobby Moody and Moment’s Notice is allowing me to stretch, too.

It’s nice busting out of this little time warp.  Growth is good.